Top Three Reasons to Choose Luther College — April Fools Edition

Top Three Reasons to Choose Luther College — April Fools Edition

August 25, 2019 6 By Stanley Isaacs


Walking around campus during the tour I was always impressed
by how positive everybody seemed. It is really a big flexibility that allows me to participate in the music department
as well as the sciences. I came to Luther for it’s nationally accredited education program. Why did I come to Luther College? The water bottle fillers. The first time that I was on this campus and I saw the water bottle filler… I’m gonna remember that day for the rest of my life. I was really just looking for a place that I could fill my water bottle easily. Life before Luther…was really hard for me. You know, I lived everyday confused, lost, you know I felt like had nowhere to
turn. Every time I tried to fill my water
bottle, you know, when all you have is a fountain and a bottle… and a novel, what are you supposed to do?! Use your hands and your feet?! Your mouth?! And then you just end up on the floor soaking wet with everyone in your high school
graduating class laughing at you and spitting on you and calling you
names like a loser and turd face and oh I hate you
because you suck! That was my life! That was my life. All I wanted was to be accepted. And here, at Luther College, I feel like I finally am because of the water bottle fillers. It changed my life, it really has. At first it was a really confusing sort of thing. We didn’t really know how to use it and so it took a little bit of practice, of
course, practice makes perfect. And practice makes a filled water bottle. I came to Luther because I have a thing for nuts. To be frank, I have a thing for nuts. Particularly peanut butter nuts. Nuts in peanut butter. I chose to come to Luther for the peanut butter. No way…Me too! Its thick but it’s also smooth. I went to every school and I said, “Show me your peanut butter. Show it to me right now.” So what I like to do with it, is I like to spread it on my upper thigh. The peanut butter…it’s just its crunchy and smooth and when I eat the peanut butter we hear music. I tend to get a little bit
of a rash going. Putting that peanut butter on it not only alleviates the pain but it also makes for a nice little post hike snack. The Luther peanut butter is a metaphor for what is to be a Luther student? There’s sometimes a little hair, but we do what we can. What do we do in our free time? We watch the Decorah Eagle Cam. Some of the feathers are brown and some feathers are white. How does that even happen? I hear that can see things from far away. My dad’s balding. It’s like they’re defying gravity. How does an eagle even lift a goat. E…-G! E-G! E-G-L-E! L-E! L-E! L-E-S! Eagle! Eagle! Eagle! I chose Luther College because I heard about the Decorah Eagle Cam. They have eagles on there. When I heard of the Decorah Eagle Cam… I don’t know if you’ve heard of it but
it changed my life. Fact: Eagles fly high. Fact: Eagles have wings like Charizard not like Blastoise. I got the Eagle cam on my phone
right now. Look you can watch it sleeping! I think the eagles are cute…so cute. People come up to me all the time like, “I go to Wartburg” “I go to this college” and I go, “DO YOU HAVE AN EAGLE CAM?” And they dont…so I say in your face. We do. We have an eagle cam. Look it! It’s sleeping! I’ve loved Eagles ever since 3rd grade. Ever since Mr. Bristle taught us how to do eagle calls. *arrangement of attempted eagle calls* I like to think that at Luther College, I can fly higher than that eagle. With our education of course.