Super Hero Go Back To School

Super Hero Go Back To School

October 10, 2019 100 By Stanley Isaacs


[MUSIC PLAYING] [CHATTER] Uh, no I didn’t steal your look. Yeah, you did. You’re like a knock-off
version of me. Says the guy who gets
rebooted every five years. Who’s under there anyway? Toby? Andrew Garfield? (GASP) Are you Tom Holland? [BELL RINGING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [CHATTER] Welcome back, class. I hope you’ve all had
a good summer vacation. Now it’s time to learn. I fully expect a
well-behaved class. No jokers will be permitted. Your a snitch, Batty. Quiet. Quiet down, please, you two. You both aren’t even
in the right class. Your grade is in rooms D and C. We hate it in there. Nothing makes sense. [MUSIC PLAYING] I can’t believe we’re in
different classes this year, you know? We were always in C
together and now you’re in– I know. It’s actually– [SCREAM] It’s a spider, man. [SCREAMING] [SOBBING] [MUSIC PLAYING] Hi, Puddin’. Hey. So, you talk to fish, huh? OK. Ha-ha. You know, I’m starting to get
really fed up with the whole, “Aquaman isn’t a
cool hero mentality.” No. You’re really cool. Thank you, Bruce. I especially like your trident. You look like the
Little Mermaid’s dad. [LAUGHTER] Tell me Bruce– how’s your dad? [GASP] [SOBBING] [MUSIC PLAYING-OPERA] Every single time? Yep. Hurts every time
I bring ’em out. You know, it’s crazy. You wouldn’t think
that an Amazonian and an alien from Krypton
would hit it off so well. Yeah, I know. It’s weird. You been working out? Yeah. Glad you asked. I’ve been in the gym,
hard, six days a week. Who are you kidding? You’re a science experiment. What the heck, Tony? See you in class, Test Tube. Unbelievable. You know, I wrote
his work out plan. OK. So, we’re throwing a
party this weekend. But we want to keep it
pretty small, pretty low-key. What did you say
about my brother? What? He may be crazy, but
he is my brother. [MUSIC PLAYING] What are you even talking about? My brother, Loki. OK. We’ll keep your
brother “low-key.” Wh– wh– where are
you keeping him? Well, I’ve had enough
of this shtick. The comments are going
to rip this scene apart. Barely anyone knows that Loki’s
the name of Thor’s brother. [MUSIC PLAYING] Get open. Freedom. What is he doing? Justice. [SLASHING SOUND] Logan. Sorry. Sorry, guys. Sorry. Good win, guys. But that Justice
play needs work. Yeah. My offense was awesome. Well, good game, fellas. I was like Spud Webb out there. Yeah. What happened, Tony? Wasn’t even close? Hey, not fair. Banner wasn’t even on our team. Sounds like you’re
making excuses. Sounds like my ex. [MUSIC PLAYING] Hey. That’s not nice. [CRYING] You know I didn’t
want him on the team. OK. So when you call on the
fish, then what happens? OK. I can do so much more than just
telepathically control fish, OK? I can breathe underwater. I can swim 175
miles per hour, OK? I raced a shark. And, well, the shark, it
wasn’t there at the time, they add it in post-production. Slow down. But I beat it. I did that, OK? I won. You did it. So, if I get my car broken into
in the middle of the Pacific, I’ll call you. Next, we’re going to
discuss the summer reading. Which themes came– I didn’t read it. [MUSIC PLAYING] Me neither. Yeah, uh– [MUSIC PLAYING] Know what, professor? I’ll make it up to you. No, you won’t
Captain Brown-nose. Will you shut up, Tony? I’m Trying to learn. Well, gentlemen,
you’re going to have to know your alphabet
by the end of the week. So, let’s start with A. [MUSIC-“FRIENDS”THEME] Thor? Asgard. Very good, Thor. And B? Black Panther. C? Captain. D? Deadpool. Spiderman! Settle down, Junior. U for Uncle Ben. I’d burn down all
of Gotham for you. Puddin’, That’s so disturbing. What else would you do? I’d enter grocery stores
through the exit only door. Stop! I’d rip tags off of mattresses. Oh, Mr. J, you
really are demented. And it’s all for you, baby. Back to class, you two. [MUSIC PLAYING] Who are you texting. It’s my mom. Who are you texting? It’s just my mom. OK, OK, it’s Daisy. But I swear to god it’s
just about homework. I didn’t want to tell
you, I know you hate her. OK. I’m sorry. It’s OK. What did she ever
do to you, anyway? She ran over my cat. (GASP) Sprinkles? What? This amateur production. I miss the old Rachel. The princess videos, the DIYs. It’s not the same anymore.