Student Life : Bollywood VS Reality | Ashish Chanchlani

November 16, 2019 0 By Stanley Isaacs

Hey! Payment? Payment? Pay the money. Tani, pay the money. Jadoo, pay the money. Money? Pay the money. Okay. Pay the money.
– Yes. Hey! I’m not as foolish as I look. Pay me money. Let’s contribute… …five rupees each. Come on. I got my scholarship. I’ll be a very successful person. I’ll rule this world! I got my scholarship. I’ll be a very successful person. I’ll rule this world! Hey! Why are you shouting? Sir, I got scholarship. So what? You didn’t get
the college’s ownership. Sir, but I got scholarship. Look at him. Two years back,
he received scholarship, too. Thank you so much, sir. You gave me three years of salary
in advance. Thank you, sir. That’s just nothing. You’ll get a car, bungalow,
wife and everything from… …college committee. Everything! Sir, can we come in? Yes, my precious children.
Tell me what can I do for you? Sir, next month we have paint
Mary’s annual income event. So we need money for that. Take, children. Keep it! Take my chain, too. Keep it. Wear goggles. Everyone must know
you are my student. Keep the phones. Sell them! These are college’s documents.
Sell the college. But the fest must be grand. Got it? Sir, this amount is not
sufficient, but… …fine. We’ll adjust. Thank you. Sir, money…
– Which money? Salary.
– I had given you. I spent it.
– You spent your salary? Sir, you gave me six months back. That’s why I don’t
pay you salaries. Next time if you get your salary…
If you get! Then invest it in mutual funds.
See. This is Groww app.
You can invest… …money for mutual funds here. High returns for small investments. That too, you can pay through UPI. Plus, no commission,
no extra charges. You can invest and withdraw
money whenever you want to. Actually, principals
these days are scoundrels. They hardly pay salaries to
teachers once in six months. Who are you? Get out! Hello, security.
Some rats have entered my office. Sir, we are your
college’s students. Oh! My students! Come in. We’ll talk later.
It’s a postpaid connection. Tell me. What do you want? Sir, paint Sarita fest will
be organized in our college. What should I do then? Sir, money…
– Yeah. Give me money. We need money.
We have to organize the event. Tell me something.
‘Samosa’ worth 10 rupees… …other snacks and chocolates… …worth rupees 20 altogether. We have 100 students.
20 multiplied by 100 is 2,000. You approached me
for 2,000 rupees? Take. 2,000 rupees. Keep it. I’ll deduct this
amount from his salary. No! Sir, don’t deduct my salary. Give me! Listen, rascals!
Attend lectures as well. More than professors’ lectures… …they attend road construction
work outside college. Get out! Go, man! I won’t. I’m too shy! Go!
– She won’t let me… What?
– She won’t reply me. She’s out of my reach. I won’t go.
She’s from IT department. Out of my reach. No! Go! Just go! Simran. Actually, I wanted to… …tell you something.
– Tell me. Hi.
– Hi. She said hi! I’ve chosen our kid’s names.
Simashish. She is mine!
Matches are made in heaven! Oh no! Where is your ID? Where is ID? Show me ID! Oh God!
I come to this college daily. Don’t you see me? I enter college daily with
my rotten egg like face. Why do you ask me for ID daily? ID! What’s the proof? Go and ask every girl
of this college. All of them have slapped me.
Inquire in canteen. My payment for 600
‘Samosas’ is still pending. Proof! You might be the nearby
college’s student, too. I’m not in love… …with this college
to visit every morning. Do you think it’s Wonderland? Where’s your ID?
Why aren’t you wearing ID? Prove that you are this
college’s watchman. You might the nearby
college’s watchman. Get out! Get out. – Listen to me.
– Bring your ID card. I was just joking.
– Get out. No! Where is your ID? Calm down. Calm down. You are a
very good person, Ashish! Calm down. Go.
– ID! What happened? You had an accident? Sir, I had jumped from
the next building’s… …third floor. Why?
– Sir, actually… …I was rusticated
from the school. Shall we talk about your salary? Thank you, sir! What happened? You had an accident? Sir, I had…
– Let me guess. You jumped from the next
building’s third floor. You were rusticated. Poor guy. Sad. No, sir! I had put all my money
for team Chennai during IPL finals. Bookmakers have broken my bones. I sold my parents’ property
for IPL, too. Fate! Sir, please give me a job.
I need this money, sir. Sir, what will be my salary? Shall we discuss about it? Out! Bookmaker is standing outside, sir.
– Take him out. Throw him out.
– Sir, he’ll beat me. He’ll beat me to pulp, sir.
Sir, please. Sir.
– Get out! They’ll cut and take
my legs this time, sir! So, presenting you!
International… …inter-college… …and every inter-entertainment… …student of the
year award goes to… …Akash Dodeja! Everybody! Whoa! Whoa! Proud of you, my boy. Proud of you. Yes!
– Whoa! But I keep forgetting
the other function. Dude, try to remember it. You don’t
get much time to prepare for CET. Dude, I won the student
of the year trophy. Rohit, he’s won the
student of the year trophy. Give him a round of applause. Nobody gives damn
about about you… …winning a student
of the year trophy. Do even know what a
real student is like? Look at him.
He’s the real student of the year. Look at his face, dark circles
under his eyes and his hair loss. He doesn’t know what’s
going on in the outer world. He keeps studying the whole day.
He’s lost into R.D. Sharma’s books. Ask him what’s going on
in the outside world. Do you know what is an IPL?
Do you know what’s an Avenger? Have you ever seen
a girl in your life? How will he even see a girl?
How would he? Because as far as
girls are concerned… …all he knows is Miss. Sharma,
Miss. Naytri and Miss. Pooja. Let me tell you who the
real student of the year is. It’s us engineering students. The students of medical science. The students of CA,
M.B.B.S and MBA. They are the real
students of the year. Bollywood doesn’t
portray their stories. Let me tell you their stories. We students travel
60 kms every day to college. Why? Just so that we
can show our faces. Because the college expects
a 75 percent attendance. Basically, the college is like
our husband and we are it’s wives. In the name of lectures,
we have a nuptial night everyday. We just come to
give our attendance. Why? Because the college
wants a 75 percent attendance. We are not students,
we are like labourers. There’s hardly any difference
between a student and a labourer. A student as well as a labourer
has to mark an attendance. The labourer loses his wages
while the student loses his marks. The labourer lifts a bamboo
while the student lifts a pen. The labourer gets paid 600
bucks for lifting bamboos… But all we get in
return is just pain. And that too in the *** Try submitting documents with… …the admin and
office department. Submitting the documents
is harder… …than passing the
IIT entrance exams. It takes years for
documents submission. You think you are a stud, right?
The student of the year! You must have picked a lot of girls
and many must have cheated you. Do you even know
what cheating is? Let me tell you what cheating is. Cheating is when
attend a viva exam… …and your own internal teacher… …turns on in front
of an external teacher. Cheating is when you
have a hard time… …commuting in the local
train and the teacher says… …the lecture has been cancelled
and you won’t get an attendance. And the worst part are the toppers. They promise us of a mass
bunk while they themselves… …attend the lectures. Why? Because they want to
please the teacher. They want to create records.
You know which one? Guinness Book of World’s
Best Boot lickers! Due to these kind of people… …students like us
who study well… …and want to achieve
something is life… …and look for a recognition
but all we receive is… …teacher’s negligence.
Nothing else. And don’t even speak
of the teachers. There are a few oppressive
professors in this college… …that no matter
what I tell them… …they react to it
very egoistically. The other day I told
a professor that… …I won’t able to submit
an assignment today… …because I was focusing
on the another subject. He stared at me as if… …I had plucked
hairs from his chest. Sir, you teach just one subject… …but we students have
to study six subjects. What about that? If by mistake… If by mistake, a good
professor joins the college… …who really understands us
students and solves our doubts… …and treats us like
his younger brother… …he gets expelled from
the college by the faculty. Basically, these people can’t
bear to us students being happy. How can we students ever be happy? We like technical fest,
they cancel the fest. We like playing PUBG,
they ban PUBG. If they see a student
being happy… …they can’t believe it. They are like,
how can the students be happy. Ravi, you look happy. Let me give you eight assignments. Here’s your eight assignments.
Off you go! In four years, I have written so
many journals and assignments… There are so many journals
and assignments at my home… …that if I happen
to sell them off… …I would be richer
than Mr. Ambani. Why do you think the stationery
shop in front of our college… …remains closed every
Saturday and Sunday? He’s earned so much money
from printing Xeroxes… …of our engineering students… …that they are raided by
the Income Tax Department. Imagine, how big a business
engineering studies have become. What does our
education system need? Is it good students who create
a good future for nation? No! They want zombies… …who just keep
writing assignments… …journals, projects,
sheets and all. Ask the students what they
did for four years of college. They kept writing.
And what did they write? Aim, experiment, *** conclusion.
That’s it! That’s all we ever wrote. All we do is keep running with… …the theoretical garbage
from one teacher to another. Ans what about the
practical knowledge? Null. The worst of all people are… …the training and placement
cell of this college. They have been telling me
for the past four years… …that I will get a job offer. And that a company
would hire me. I say, where’s the company? Half the Avengers have
died and come back to life. Captain America has grown old… …but there’s no sign
of their company yet. And the companies that hire… …make such fools out of us! We study about road
construction for four years… …but they us data coding. When we expect an answer from
them, they say… …we cannot give you this job… …because you don’t
have any experience. Well, we would experience
for job only… …when we’ll have a
job to get experience. We students get caught up… …in the loop of
job and experience. I have got so worked up… …that I’m considering
leaving engineering studies… …going to the Himalayas
and becoming a monk. Maybe I should download
Tiktok, make a few… …dance videos. At least,
I might earn some money… …if the videos become viral! You deserve this, brother. You are the real
student of the year. Hello, guys!
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