Old Man Ruins Graduation

Old Man Ruins Graduation

October 20, 2019 100 By Stanley Isaacs


>>LET’S OFFER ONE MORE ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR THAT BEAUTIFUL PERFORMANCE FROM THE STRING QUARTET. [APPLAUSE] THAT WAS LOVELY. NOW, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, THE MOMENT HAS ARRIVED FOR EACH GRADUATING SENIOR TO COME UP AND ACCEPT THEIR DIPLOMA. AND ACCORDING TO TRADITION, THE NAMES ARE ALWAYS READ BY THE UNIVERSITY’S FOUNDER, CLARK M. RICHARDS.>>CONGRATULATIONS TO THE GRADUATING CLASS OF 2014. STEVE JENKINS.>>JEFFERSON.>>SH-SHIRL->>SHIRLEY.>>SHIRLEY. WA–>>WALTERS.>>SHIRLEY WITHERS.>>WALTERS.>>SHIRLEY WAFFLES. CONGRATULATIONS, SHIRLEY FALAFEL. SMARF MAGOOSH.>>NO. SAM MCKENZIE.>>FLUBDUB BAGGINS.>>FRANCIS BENSEN.>>JOHN STAMOS. JOHN STAMOS!>>NO, NO. DO YOU NEED YOUR GLASSES? THAT WAS JEFF SIMON.>>AH YES. THANK YOU. THERE WE GO. THERE WE GO. HERBINA HAYMACAWANA-MACAWANA.>>NOPE, THAT’S HENRY HANSON.>>SHAMOO. SHAMOO.>>NO. SHAMOO IS THE NAME OF A WHALE, NOT A PERSON. OH SHAMOO FRANKLIN! OH SHAMOO! OH!>>HEH! WOULDN’T WANT TO BE YOU RIGHT NOW! GOMORKFACE SHLIPSHLAP. [GIGGLING] IT’S OK. SORRY. [LAUGHING] [GRUNTING] [LAUGHING] K. SUBSCRIBE. DO IT.