Middle School Kid Ruins the News

Middle School Kid Ruins the News

November 27, 2019 100 By Stanley Isaacs


♪♪>>COMING UP, A LOCAL MAN’S DOCUMENTARY EXPOSES THAT YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS MAY BE YOUR FAMILY AND THE RESULTS MIGHT SHOCK YOU.>>BUT FIRST, SPRING HAS SPRUNG AND WITH IT HEAPS OF FUN. WE’RE GOING TO ROGER JENNINGS WHO IS COMING TO US LIVE FROM JEFFERSON MIDDLE SCHOOL.>>THAT’S RIGHT CHUCK, I’M HERE AT THE ANNUAL JEFFERSON MIDDLE SCHOOL CARNIVAL FOR THE CURE, AND AS YOU CAN SEE THE FESTIVITIES ARE IN FULL SWING. I’M HERE WITH ONE OF THE CARNIVAL’S ORGANIZERS. CAN YOU TELL US YOUR NAME?>>MY NAME IS DAVID WAYNE STARR WITH A DOUBLE “R”.>>CAN YOU SPELL THAT?>>UM, YEAH. T-H-A-T. THAT.>>UH, HOW OLD ARE YOU DAVID?>>I’M 12.>>OH, I’M SORRY, EVERYONE. I THOUGHT DAVID HERE WAS A TEACHER.>>THAT’S OKAY. I GET THAT A LOT. YOU SEE, MY BODY’S BEEN GOING THROUGH UM, CHANGES. DAD SAYS MY VOICE HAS GOT TO CATCH UP TO THE REST OF MY BODY. BUT, DON’T WORRY. IT’LL HAPPEN.>>I HOPE SO. UH, THE CARNIVAL LOOKS PRETTY FUN. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE PART SO FAR?>>YEAH! THERE’S A DUNK TANK OVER THERE THAT YOU GET TO DUNK YOUR FAVORITE TEACHER IN.>>DID YOU GET TO DUNK YOUR FAVORITE TEACHER?>>YEAH, MR.KENESPO, BUT I DIDN’T GET TO DUNK HIM. THOMAS POLKCHOICE SAID I THROW LIKE A GIRL, BUT THAT’S NOT TRUE. SUSIE CHIAPINNI CAN THROW WAY BETTER THAN ME.>>CAN’T IMAGINE THAT.>>OH, BUT I DID PLAY A DOT GAME AND I WON THIS STUFFED WAMPA FROM “THE EMPIRE WILL STRIKE BACK.”>>OH, I THINK IT’S CALLED “THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK.”>>WELL, THEY DON’T REALLY STRIKE BACK UNTIL RETURN OF THE JEDI, SO I THINK THAT TITLE IS A BIT OF A RED HERRING.>>SOUNDS LIKE YOU LIKE STAR WARS.>>I LOVE STAR WARS! OH, UH, MY FAVORITE IS BIB FORTUNA.>>I DON’T KNOW WHO OR WHAT THAT IS.>>OH, HE’S- HE’S THE GUY THAT’S AT JABBA’S HOUSE- PALACE WITH THE THINGS ON HIS HEAD AND HE’S GOT THE SHARP TEETH AND HE GOES LIKE UM, HE’S LIKE, “DIE WUNNA WUNGA.”>>THANKS. WE’RE- WE’RE GOING TO GO TALK TO SOME OTHER PEOPLE I THINK AND JUST SEE WHO ELSE IS GOING ON. HOW LONG DOES THE CARNIVAL GO TONIGHT, DAVID?>>TEJABA WANKA.>>OKAY, WE’RE GOING TO MAYBE GO BACK TO CHUCK AND DENA->>KNOCK, KNOCK! KNOCK, KNOCK!>>WHO’S THERE?>>OH, NOBODY.>>NOBODY, WHO?>>NOBODY VOTED FOR ME WHEN I RAN FOR STUDENT COUNCIL. I’M NOT VERY POPULAR.>>I’M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.>>OH, IT’S ALL RIGHT. I RECENTLY READ A STUDY THAT SAID “IF YOU’RE POPULAR AS A “KID SOMETIMES IT LEADS TO PROBLEMS LATER ON IN LIFE”, SO, HOPEFULLY THAT MEANS I’LL BE MORE ADJUSTED AS AN ADULT THAN THOMAS POLKCHOICE.>>YEAH, HOPEFULLY.>>CAN I TELL A JOKE BEFORE- >>NO, WE’RE GOING TO HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE STUDIO NOW.>>I JUST- CAN I- I JUST WANT TO- WHAT’S- WHAT’S UM, WHAT DO->>YEAH, OKAY.>>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS MY MOM WITH MY DAD?>>I’M AFRAID TO ASK.>>I DON’T KNOW, BUT MY DAD SAID IT WAS A MISTAKE!>>OKAY. I THINK THAT’S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE. ANY LAST WORDS, DAVID?>>NEJABA NOBADDA.>>OKAY, LET’S GO BACK TO CHUCK AND DENA.>>THANKS FOR WATCHING THAT VIDEO. SUBSCRIBE BELOW AND COMMENT ON YOUR FAVORITE CARNIVAL ACTIVITY.>>OH UM, I- I KNOW WHAT THEY CAN LEAVE A COMMENT ABOUT!>>WHAT’S THAT DAVID?>>ETAKATA OMONTZI.>>NOBODY UNDERSTANDS WHAT YOU’RE SAYING.>>I’M JUST KIDDING. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING?>>FAVORITE THING ABOUT WHAT?>>ANYTHING! TELL US IN THE COMMENTS BELOW! DID YOU KNOW- UM, DID YOU KNOW THAT THE MINNESOTA TWINS WON THE WORLD SERIES IN 1987?>>IS THAT TRUE?>>KEN HRBEK HIT A GRAND SLAM AND BROUGHT IN FOUR RUNS.>>I LOVE THE TWINS.>>I’M NOT A TWIN. [SQUEAKING]>>CAN WE-