Lovely boy Seungjae meets charismatic Oh teacher [The Return of Superman / 2017.04.23]
Let’s fly. (The father and son are playing together.) (Ringing) (He quickly runs over to greet the guest.) – Hello. / – Hello. Hi. – It’s nice to meet you. / – Yes, you too. Is she really here? (It’s Dr. Oh Eunyoung, an expert in childcare.) (She’s known as the ruler of children.) Childcare is very difficult. I’m better at working in the office. It’s easier. He doesn’t even want to eat or wash when he’s with me. (He refuses to eat anything his dad gives him.) (I don’t want to eat.) (Every time Jiyong tries to wash him…) Seungjae runs away every time he needs to take a bath. I don’t know what to do, so I wanted to ask a professional. Seungjae, say hello. (He automatically walks backwards.) What’s wrong? Are you shy? Seungjae. Come on out. Dr. Oh looks around the house. (She looks around the house like a professional.) All mothers look up to her. (Charismatic) There are so many animals here. – Seungjae, look. / – Come on out. What’s this? Is this a white tiger? Is this a white tiger? I want to go out! (This is the power of a professional.) – It is. / – It is, right? You know a lot. A white tiger. What’s this called? – It’s a polar bear. / – Yes, you’re right. – It’s a turtle. / – Yes, it is. – What about this? / – Would you like some coffee? Yes, please. Thank you. Do you normally have curly hair or did you get a perm? – I got a perm. / – Really? – It’s a green frog. / – A green frog. The green frog doesn’t listen to its mother. This guy really doesn’t listen to what his mother says. He really doesn’t? It sounds like you. Seungjae, you’re not like the green frog, are you? This is a red panda. Is it a red panda? It’s not cute at all. – What? / – It’s not cute? – “Kung Fu Panda”. / – Oh, that guy. (Laughing) – He’s not cute? / – He’s not cute at all. – He’s not cute? / – You like this guy better than him? – Yes. / – I see. You’re so cute. Who do you take after? (Who do you take after, Seungjae?) A hippopotamus. Do you take after a hippopotamus? Do you normally take care of him? No, I’m the least close to him. – Is that so? / – Yes. He refuses to eat whenever I try to feed him. He’s always running around. It takes about an hour to feed him. – I see. / – It’s so hard to feed him. I hear he eats two servings at the kindergarten. – Really? / – Yes. I don’t understand why he won’t eat when he’s with me. First, I need to see how you interact with him during mealtime. – May I help you as I watch? / – Yes. – Can you hear me? / – Yes. – I can hear you well. / – Okay. Seungjae, I’m going to cook now. (Seungjae is playing in his room.) (Jiyong starts to cook.) (Seungjae starts singing.) (What did Dr. Oh notice?) Dad. – Yes? / – Dad. While cooking, you still need to react to what he does. – He’s singing. / – Yes. It’s not good to leave him alone for so long. (Jiyong forgot to) (take care of Seungjae who’s playing in another room.) Try saying, “Seungjae, what are you doing?” When he sings, you need to compliment him. – I see. / – Okay. (Will he successfully do what he was taught?) Seungjae, what are you doing? I’m cooking for you right now. – Dad. / – Yes? – You did well. / – Okay. But that was only worth 60 points. The whole point is to show that you’re interested. If you talk in such a robotic tone, he’ll get nervous. – I see. / – It sounds like you’re questioning him. Try talking in a higher tone like this. What are you doing, Seungjae? You can say, “You must be playing.” “That looks like fun.” “I noticed you singing earlier. You sounded great.” Try doing that. Then when can I start cooking? That’s how it is. When you’re raising a child, you need to know how to multitask. – That’s why it’s a tough job. / – Okay. Seungjae, what were you singing earlier? (He needs to show Seungjae his reaction.) Were you playing with the bulldozer? – Good job. / – Were you having fun with the bulldozer? – You can start cooking now. / – I’ll be back. – You just need to check once in a while. / – Okay. (He finally gets ready to cook.) I want to eat this. (Seungjae tries to drink juice before his meal.) – Dad. / – Yes? If he drinks something sweet before a meal, it’ll ruin his appetite. – Okay. / – His blood sugar will rise. – Please stop him from drinking that. / – Okay. Seungjae. Seungjae. He’ll finish it all while you just call his name. You need to quickly go to him. You can drink this after you finish your meal. No. (Seungjae becomes sullen.) (Jiyong is only focused on cooking.) Dad. Try saying, “Seungjae, where are you?” Seungjae. – Where are you? / – I’m here. – Good job. / – Where? – Here. / – Where? Show him your face. Where are you? Try saying, “Oh, that’s where you were.” There you were. Come here. I’m here. Why am I so distracted? (Distracted, he left the refrigerator open.) (Another distraction showed up.) (He aims for the box of jelly.) That’s not what that’s for. – That’s not what that’s for? / – No. (He speaks so well.) I want to eat this. Eat it after the meal. Close the door. (It’s very effective.) Wait here. – Play with a toy. / – A toy. That’s right. (He changes his target in an instant.) (It’s a plate.) – Dad. / – Yes? Children are different from adults. They find quiet times like this difficult to endure. It’s not a bad idea to let him eat what you’ve made. – Okay. / – Okay. Seungjae, eat this first. (He smacks his lips.) He is eating better than I expected. Don’t forget to give a reaction. Ask, “Is my food tasty?” Seungjae, is my food tasty? Pay him a compliment. “You are eating well.” You are eating well. “You will get tall.” You eat like a man. I will eat the curry you had yesterday. – Will you eat curry? / – Yes, you had it yesterday. – It’s leftover from yesterday. / – Yes. (When Jiyong sits down, he resumes eating.) Good work making the food. It was nothing. Seungjae is eating well by himself. – You are right. / – He is eating well. Seungjae is the kind of child who needs emotional interaction. (He makes eye contact even while eating.) Instead of focusing on finishing the tasks, you need to interact with him on the emotional level. – Okay. / – Try it. “You are still eating well.” “You can do things well on your own.” – “You will get tall.” Try it. / – Okay. – Seungjae, is the food good? / – Yes. You are eating very well today. You will grow very tall like this. That’s right. You are eating well. (He lost his smile.) You should smile. (When Jiyong smiles,) (Seungjae acts cute.) He’s making eyes contact and smiling continuously. You need keep up with him. Tell him he’s good at using the spoon. Seungjae, you are so good at using the spoon. “Your mouth is bigger than a hippopotamus” You can open your mouth like a hippopotamus. Say, “Let’s go.” Seungjae, let’s go. Why am I saying “Let’s go” in the middle of a meal? (Embarrassed) You need to overcome your embarrassment. Say, “Hurrah!” Hurrah! Hurrah! When you look at his facial expression, you will see that he is excited. Doing these things are important for Seungjae. (He can’t contain his excitement.) Nice! (The first crisis occurs.) (Anger level) I get angry when something like this happens. You shouldn’t be upset at your child. (Splashing) (He is cheerful.) (I must endure it.) Stifle your anger. At the dinner table, you shouldn’t have too many purposes. – Okay. / – Seungjae’s first and primary goal is to eat joyfully until he is full. That’s the goal of the day. – Do seagulls live at the sea? / – Seagulls? They’re flying together. Give him a spoonful of food there. Open wide. That’s right. – This is a mallard. / – A mallard? (Jiyong reacts and feeds him food.) That’s right. (There is still food in his mouth.) (Jiyong wants to give him more food.) No, no. You are a bit fast. There is still food in his mouth. I want to get it done and clean up. – I like your honesty. / – Do you want more? – Yes, I do. / – Do you want curry? (He takes a few more bites.) I won’t eat curry. (The second crisis occurs.) Do you want to stop eating? Are you full? (It’s not over yet.) You are doing well. When he leaves, go to him. Say, “Seungjae, where did you go?” “Let’s fly back to the table.” And sit him back down. (Jiyong is on the move.) Let’s go. You left in the middle of a meal. Let’s bring your animal friends to the table. No. Who should we bring this time? Dinosaurs? – I won’t eat more. / – Should we bring dinosaurs? He says he won’t eat more. – Yes. / – In that case, look him in the eye and say, “You ate well by yourself today.” “Let me know if you are hungry later.” Seungjae, you ate well by yourself today. Let me know if you are hungry later. – Okay. / – You did a good job. Don’t you think he ate more than usual? He ate more than he does when I fed him before. – Good work. / – Thank you. Your strength lies in your diligence. It’s your advantage. I can tell that Seungjae likes you very much. It shows. Here is what I want to ask you. What kind of child do you think he is? He is a unique child. – A unique child. / – Well, I’ve never seen anyone like him. I’m sure all children are unpredictable, but he is even more unpredictable. Moreover, he is very energetic. You know your son very well. Your level of energy – doesn’t match with his. / – I see. – He is full of energy. / – You are right. If I were to compare him to a color, it would be red. Deep red. If I were to compare you to a color, it would be blue. (They are complete opposites of each other.) On top of that, you have a tendency to put a damper on everything. Let’s feed the rabbits. I will give this to them. They won’t eat leaves. They won’t like something so dry. Seungjae, let the older boys play by themselves. It won’t be fun for them to play with you. Then Seungjae can become sullen. You need to match yourself to him. You need to change to purple. Your disposition can make it a bit hard to handle Seungjae. It’s very hard. I see that it’s more than a bit hard. You aren’t doing terribly. You are doing well. There may be individual differences, – but children his age / – Teacher. – need more than an explanation. / – Teacher. – Seungjae. / – Whose shoes are those? Whose shoes are those? Seungjae, do you want to go to work like me? – He wants to grow up. / – Really? You go to a kindergarten. – No. / – It’s a natural part of development. – I’m leaving. / – Boys want to be close – to their dads. / – I’m leaving. – Bye. / – Have fun at work. – Okay. / – Work hard. Make a lot of money. I’m going to work. Do that. Have fun at work. Don’t go out for real, though. – Okay. / – Okay. Here is what I think. Since he feels the least close to me, scolding him… I brought an umbrella. An umbrella? My goodness. We should use it when it’s raining. Since umbrellas are for rain, we should put them here. When your child doesn’t listen, here is what you need to do. Playing with an umbrella can be dangerous. “It’s dangerous.” “You can’t play with it.” Then take it away. Try it. Seungjae, it’s pointy and dangerous. I will put it back. Good job. Who’s in charge of the discipline? My wife is. When I discipline him, it has an adverse effect. He would come to me less. When it comes to discipline, you teach a child what he shouldn’t do. You also teach what he should do. Not one parent should be in charge of discipline. The parent at the scene should do it. There must be consistency. – No. / – Take him down. Tell him to come down and move him. – No. / – Come down. – No. / – You need to come down. – No, no. / – That’s good. Take him down like that. That’s right. That’s how you solve the problem. He may climb the table again. Then you can take him down again. (He climbs the table again.) It’s dangerous. Take him down. Seungjae, I told you that it’s dangerous. (Upset) I hate you. There is no need to let those words sway you. (I never give up.) – Repeat, “It’s dangerous.” / – It’s dangerous. Consistency and repetition are the keys. Even when you know, it can be hard. (Electrical outlet) You can’t play with that. Lift him up and move him to a different location. You are greedy. It’s a hairy mammoth. Good job. He will go to touch it again. Then you must repeat the process. – No. / – Lift him up. (He gets isolated.) (Until Seungjae understands,) Watch him. (Jiyong watches without a word.) He doesn’t like you any less. You must talk a lot when you are playing with him. However, when you are disciplining him, your words must be simple and straightforward. – It’s hard. / – It’s supposed to be hard. – I’ll practice what I’ve learned. / – All right. You did a good job. Thank you so much – for sparing us time. / – Don’t mention it. All right.