Learning About “Charming Racism” – Trevor Noah

Learning About “Charming Racism” – Trevor Noah

November 29, 2019 40 By Stanley Isaacs


had I not come to
this beautiful country, yeah. Probably something
that changed my life forever, charming racism. Classic American
charming racism. [laughter] I never knew there was
such a thing, growing up. And I thought
I knew all about racism. I was, you know,
coming from the home of some of the best racism
in the world. No, and I don’t mean to brag,
but South Africa is, by far– Like–like we’ve got–we’ve got
top quality racism out there. Like, it’s handcrafted. You don’t get racism like that
anymore. Like, I’ve seen racism
all over the world. To be honest,
the standards have dropped. It’s not what it used to be. Like, I’m talking about quality
racism, you know. Now, it’s cheap
and mass-produced, probably made in China now. I’m talking about real racism. I discovered charming racism in a place called
Lexington, Kentucky. [laughter] I don’t know if you’ve ever
been, but you really need to go. It’s a beautiful place. Old-school charming racism
with a smile and the tip of a hat. Everyone in Lexington had
this vibe, this smile, the charm, the drawl–
Oh, the Southern drawl, I love it so much, the way
they would speak out there. The grammar’s horrible,
but it’s still beautiful. Well, ’cause the sentences
don’t really make sense. They’d be like, “Y’all ain’t
never done gone see none of them out”–and it’s like,
that’s–that’s– That’s not English.
Your autocorrect is broken. I don’t know what that is,
but it’s–but it’s beautiful. You know, in fact,
when they speak really fast, sometimes it sounds like
somebody’s playing a banjo inside their mouths, that’s– That’s what it sounds like
to me. I asked two men for directions,
and this–They started arguing. It was the most beautiful sound
I’ve ever heard in my life. The guy was like,
“Where you goin’, boy?” I said, “I’m going to the–to
the theater. Can you direct me?” He said, “Y’all get on the
[indecipherable accent] road. [indecipherable accent]
that way.” The friend was like,
“No, [indecipherable accent].” “[indecipherable accent].” “[indecipherable accent].” It was almost– [laughter] [cheers and applause] It sounded like someone started
a Mumford & Sons concert in their mouth, ’cause one
minute they were talking and then they got into it
and the guy was like, “[indecipherable accent].”
“[indecipherable accent].” “♪ [indecipherable] ♪” “♪ [indecipherable] ♪”
“♪ [indecipherable] ♪” [continues singsong
indecipherable speech] ♪ [indecipherable] that way ♪ [cheers and applause] Nigger. [laughter] [sighs] The reason I’ll never forget
Lexington, though, is because I met a woman
out there. A gorgeous, gorgeous woman. I’ll never forget her
till the day I die. She walks into the lobby
of the theater where I was standing
with some friends, and she was absolutely stunning. A classic Southern belle. She had long, big blond hair, giant boobs. [laughter] She strutted her stuff
into the lobby, pushing people out of the way. She made her way straight
for me, straight for me. Came to me, pointed me
in the face, and she was like, “Excuse me, baby.
Excuse me, honey. May I chat to you for a moment,
please?” I said, “Yes, of course.
Hi, hi. How are you? How are you, ma’am?” She said, “Honey,
I just want to let you know “that you are by far
the funniest and handsomest nigger
I done ever seen!” [laughter] And I was like, “What?” I was so shocked. ‘Cause isn’t it “most handsome,”
not “handsomest”? [laughter] Their grammar
is just crazy, man.