Law Student Sent To Ex-Gay Therapy, Puts Counselor to Shame.

November 29, 2019 0 By Stanley Isaacs


My name is Scott Blair. I’m from Ocean Grove, New Jersey. When you apply to law school these days, you
can actually mark on your application if you are openly gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. And, you know, I put that down, because I
figured why not? I was. And I did pretty well on the LSAT and this
information goes out to a bunch of law schools. And so Harvard’s gay law students group
called my mother’s house because that was my address, and said, “We want to talk to
Scott Blair.” And she said, “Why?” “Well, he’s gay. We know he’s applying to law school. We really want him to go to Harvard.” And so we’re in the car at one point, and
she goes, “Scott, I got this call from Harvard Law’s gay student group saying you were
gay. I’m like, “That’s weird. Why?” “Well they want you to go there.” I’m like, “Oh. Did you save the contact information?” “No.” “Oh. How come?” “Well, I was hoping you were lying to them
in order to get into a better law school.” I’m like, “Well, I probably would do that
if I was straight, but actually I am gay.” And she replies, “I almost want to drive
this car into a tree.” And I reply, “Can you let me get out of
the car first?” It was very weird because I still maintain
that that is the best way for any mother to find out that their child is gay. And even though my father is an atheist and
my mother is a nominal Catholic, they joined an Orthodox Jewish ex-gay group, as well as
Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays, which is an ex-gay movement, surprisingly active in New
Jersey. And I look at them and I say, “That is the
opposite of the group that you are supposed to be joining right now. They literally stole the name of the group,
Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. That is the group you should be joining.” And they asked me to meet with somebody in
this group – one of its leaders – to sort of understand what the homosexual lifestyle
was about and what being gay was about. And I thought they were crazy. I still think they’re crazy for thinking
that. But to humor them, I said I would go if they
tried to be a little more open-minded. So I met this guy at my father’s office
in the summer of my second year of law school. And he comes in, sits down and he asks me,
“So why are you gay?” I’m like, “Well, I’m attracted to men.” And he’s like, “Why are you attracted
to men?” And I’m like, “Well, probably pretty complicated. Maybe some hereditary thing. Maybe upbringing. You know, sexuality is very complicated.” And he sort of goes into this weird diatribe
about how no one has ever found a gay gene. And I’m looking at him. He tells me, “You know, every study that
purported to find a gay gene has been authored by gays. No one else has ever found one. And I said, “I have no idea what studies
you’re talking about, but sexuality is very complex. Everything that humans do is very complex. All a gene does is control the expression
of a protein. I would be extremely shocked if one gene can
control anything like that.” And he looked at me and is very confused because
I don’t think that anyone had ever answered him in that manner before. And so he continues sort of talking and he
asks me about my childhood. And says, “Well I know you’re parents
are divorced. How did that affect you?” And I said, “Lots of people are divorced. It wasn’t great but I’m doing fine now.” And he asked me if I hate my father for that,
for the fact that my parents are divorced. And I said, “No, not really. I was raised by my father after the divorce.” And then he asked me, “Okay. How do you feel about your mother?” Like, why do you ask? “Well a lot of times people who, people
who are angry at their mother end up being turned off of women.” And I looked at him and I said, “Okay. If I was angry at my mother, that would make
me gay, because I would be turned off of women. But you asked me how I felt about my father. My guess is what you’re going to say is
if I was angry at my father, that would make me want to seek the company of other men.” And the guy looks at me and says, “That
is often borne out by my experience.” And I sort of blinked at him for a moment
and said, “Isn’t that sort of contradictory? Which one of my parents I hate, which I don’t
if they ever watch this, that made me gay. And he said, “Well it’s very complicated
but often it’s something the parents have done.” We tried to talk about how sexual immorality
can lead to the fall of civilizations. And he brought up the Roman Empire. And I got very angry about this because half
the books in my bookshelf are about the Roman Empire. And the point I made to him was the Roman
Empire only fell after it became Christian. And he said, “Well they weren’t really
Christian in any sense of the word that we would use today.” And I pointed out to him that St. Augustine
was one of the most famous Christian theologists ever. And according to what this guy was telling
me, he wasn’t actually a Christian. And I wanted to know what made him say that
that was the case. And then he said, “Well, you know, they
were very, very Catholic.” And then I said, “You realize my mother
is Catholic, right?” And he sort of then changed the conversation
a little bit. One thing that he tried to do was say that
gays are trying to restrict the rights of religious people by trying to make it illegal
to fire gays and lesbians. And I told him this is basically the same
thing as saying African Americans are trying to restrict the rights of KKK members during
civil rights movements. I didn’t see any difference and I still
don’t see a difference. And I was sort of like, “If we’re at this
point in the conversation, I don’t know what we’re really talking about. All you’re doing as far as I can tell is
getting everything wrong. If you want a reading list, I’m happy to
give you one.” And he was like, “Well, thank you for your
time.” Then he walked out to go talk to my father
for a little bit. And it’s actually hard not to feel sorry
for him. Because he was gay before he changed. He claims that he realized homosexuality was
immoral in the 80s when he saw a lot of his friends dying from AIDS. And it’s hard to mock somebody for that
because I do think that affected him. I don’t think it affected him in a healthy
manner. I think there are a lot of people who had
a better, more productive outcome. It’s easy to see how that would affect somebody. My parents continued to be in this group for
a little while longer after this happened. When he left, he told my father that I’m
very much like him, which did make my father laugh a little bit. Because it’s certainly true – we both have
a very strong argumentative and stubborn streak. The relationship with my father now is interesting
because we are very similar in a lot of ways. But we don’t talk about my sexual life at
all, or my relationships at all. It’s a shame. The last time we talked about it, I said,
“I’m not changing who I am.” He can deal with it or become a smaller part
of my life. So we’re seeing how that plays out. I would tell any kid that has to go see an
ex-gay therapist or somebody who’s telling them that it’s wrong to be gay that they
are smarter than somebody who thinks that and they are better than somebody who thinks
that. And frankly any argument that somebody uses
to support changing who you are and being straight is very, very bad. Very dumb. Thirty seconds of thought will show you why
it’s wrong.