Honest University Commercial

Honest University Commercial

October 10, 2019 100 By Stanley Isaacs


Do you really want your life looking like this? Cleaning up after others, flipping burgers for a living, unclogging toilets, living in this black and white world? Well, luckily, there’s a way you can change all that. With EveRy University, you’ll
learn the necessary skills and knowledge to be the best, most educated, over qualified mess-cleaning, burger flipping, toilet unclogging scholar with a degree! And…you’ll be in color. At EveRy University, we want you– We want you! We want you! We want you… to pay us. You will not, not regret it. If only I could go back. Hands down, best decision my
parents ever forced me to make. Everyone knows that the reason
you go to college is for money. College means a degree. A degree means a job. And a job means money. And with EveRy, we can
guarantee that we might get you to the degree part…if you put in the work. Cause, really, you’re doing all the work. Not us. I’ve never been so stressed out in my life! I never though I’d ever wish to
be back in high school again! Yeah, maybe books are about $1,000 a year. Dorm and meal plans, add another eight. Tuition? 45! But the experiences, quality
education and friendships you’re gonna make along the way…priceless. I finally got my degree in Communications! And I only owe, like, $100,000! With financial aid scholarships and two
part time jobs I had while attending EveRy, I could pay back my loans in 20 years instead of 30! Might as well call me “Johnny”…
cause I’m definitely in debt! Chances are, you will need
a loan to be able to afford EveRy. But don’t worry! You don’t have to pay it back
until right after you graduate. And that’s a lot of time. Cause if you thought you were
gonna graduate in a couple years, you’re completely forgetting about the pre-reqs. At EveRy, not only can you choose to learn things that have nothing to do
with your major, but you have to learn things that have
nothing to do with your major. You wanna be a dentist? EveRy University offers Dentristy
101, right after you complete English 1 and 2, Calculus 205,
two years of foreign language, the history of Rock and Roll and Women Studies! Because, as a dentist, you never
know when you’re gonna get a foreign Rock and Roll
star asking you to calculate an equation while you’re cleaning his teeth! Or her teeth. EveRy University may be a little pricey, stressful, time consuming. So let’s get real. You’re not gonna
be real successful without us. Where else are you gonna
learn the necessary skills and knowledge for a job other than a professor? Or books! Or hands on internship. Or the job itself! Or Google! Or even YouTube, for a how-to video on it! Exactly. No where. So what are you waiting for? Pay your application fee so you can apply today. Before you know it, you can be just like me. Like me! Like me! Like me! Like me! Like me! Paying tuition at EveRy… if we accept you, that is. So choose EveRy University
because, really, in our society, (together) What other choice do you have?! (together) Whooooo! EveRy University…because
“EveRy” one else is doing it. Tee hee! Thank you guy so much for watching! If you want to see the previous
video, click the one of the left. If you want to see more honest commercials, click the one on the right! If you want to sea a half-
animated horse with a super slow-mo face of Shawn, while
he’s dancing around in a club, dancing to a bunch of Techno
music, click the one on the bottom! Yeah, I kinda made that up. Alright, click one of them. I don’t
know which one’s the best one! You’d probably do…it’s probably
the previous video. Okay, bye.