High School Musical Is A Pretty Weird Movie

High School Musical Is A Pretty Weird Movie

November 18, 2019 100 By Stanley Isaacs


Check out what came in the mail today. I got my very own Wildcat Jersey for my favorite player. Who am I? (in deep British accent) I’m Troy Bolton of House Wildcat, first of my name. Lord of the East… Highschool. She… …Is my queen. What’s up Wildcats, I’m back from discussing YouTube drama To talk about what really matters Disney Channel original movies from 12 years ago. Today. I’m talking about a cultural juggernaut. Can you guess? Is it…uh The 11th grade get down? No, that’s not it. Uh the secondary school Symphony? No, you’re really bad at this. Today we’re talking about high school musical a movie that is objectively very bad But subjectively? It’s-It’s a loveable romp That’s still quite bad And I’ll be talking about both sides of that coin today I myself have a long and storied history with High School Musical Which and I remind you is a movie that Empire Magazine called “Maybe you just need to be a teen to get it.” I was 14 when this movie came out Which by all accounts is too old To still be watching the Disney Channel but there I was Still watching the Disney Channel And I was captivated by the stunning basketball scenes The phenomenal acting. Chad: If you sing in musicals- And lyrics like, “Don’t be afraid to shoot the outside J.” And my personal favorite, “Zip Zap Zop” ♪ Zip Zap Zop ♪ Now it may sound like I’m kidding and I am But I was a very weird kid and I got very into the High School Musical franchise So much so that I learned several High School Musical dances One of which is one of the earliest videos on my channel High School Musical if you’re not familiar is the story of Zac Efron’s glow-up But it is also the story of high school basketball star Troy Bolton And freaky genius girl Gabriella Montez I don’t want to be the school’s freaky genius girl again Balancing their existing identities of Basketball and being pretty and smart With a new and burgeoning love for musical theater Why am I talking about High School musical? A franchise that hasn’t seen a major installment in over 10 years? Uh. I don’t know? I did see this article a few weeks back About how Disney is making a web series about a group of students Who put on a production of High School Musical? Which I think in this case is a play based on the movie. So it’s it’s a webseries. It’s about a play That’s about a movie -that’s about a play Makes sense to me! Thinking about the series again made me remember how much I used to love it as a Kid and despite the fact that I still listen to the soundtrack from time to time because let’s be honest It’s bangerz from start to finish. It’s been like years since I’ve actually seen the first movie So I watched it and wow This movie is completely insane So the plot to High School Musical is basically Romeo and Juliet where two young love interests can’t be together Because their families keep them apart Gabriella’s family is the smart clique at school And for Troy his family is the basketball boys headed up by his actual father the coach of the team Who’s just a basketball that’s assumed human form The movie opens up at a ski lodge Which is coincidentally where both families are spending vacation. Troy is- you guessed it- enjoying the slopes with his family. Just kidding He’s playing basketball with basketball dad. Basketball Dad is teaching Troy his favorite move Which is to fake right and then break left Troy: By going left? Basketball Dad: Yeah. He looks middle. You take it downtown. Troy: Okay like this? It’s a strategy that all the greats have in their tool belt No one sees it coming and then Troy’s mom shows up and she’s like: Basketball? We’re supposed to be on vacation and then Troy and Basketball Dad are like shut up mom You only have three lines in this movie Meanwhile Gabriella is reading like all smart people do they’re always reading And Gabriella’s mom is like did we come all this way to read? You know how parents aren’t supportive? Unsupportive Mom: Enough reading! And she tells Gabriella to go downstairs to the young adults party Mom: the teen party? You see it’s New Years Eve and the ski lodge is having a young adults party for young adults Basketball Dad: Right. The Party for New Years Eve! Now I didn’t know what a young adult party was So I looked it up and it says here that it’s what’s known as a plot device Mom: Troy they have a kids’ party downstairs in the Freestyle Club Troy (disdainfully): Kids’ party? Mom: Young adults. Now go- ! Shower up So Troy and Gabriella make their way downstairs and the party looks lit-y You got kids getting sloshed on sparkling grape juice Dressed like it’s 1995 and they’re jostling in their seats. I said it was a party. Didn’t I? and no young adult party is complete without karaoke And not just any karaoke. Pushy karaoke where the MC begs kids to sing in front of other kids Which just thinking back to when I was 14 is a punishment worse than death MC: Who’s gonna rock the house next? (Groaning)
MC: Huh? No one wants to do it- obviously. So the MC just bullies Troy and Gabriella into singing and then Prophetically states that they might thank him someday. Some day you guys might thank me for this. My theory is that he’s some sort of omniscient Oracle Slash DJ. Why does anyone have to sing at all you ask? You’ve clearly never been to a young adults party Troy and Gabriella Don’t even get to choose a song? A song has chosen for them and it’s a song from the High School Musical Soundtrack “The Start of Something New” So I guess we’re supposed to believe that this is a well-known pop song in this universe Uhh but my theory is that the High School Musical soundtrack Exists in this world And we’re just witnessing Some sort of grandfather paradox playing out Troy and Gabriella are hesitant to sing at first I mean. Who wouldn’t be? But after about I don’t know-? One second. They’re belting into perfect harmonies So then it’s time for the new year’s countdown, but Instead of sharing a kiss they kiss with their eyes They actually don’t kiss in this movie at all but don’t worry They kiss too much in every other High School Musical movie to make up for it They decide to exchange numbers on the two fossils that they use the cell phones But Instead of doing that they apparently just take photos of one another Which is a very normal thing to do at young adult parties We all know this. The photos by the way look incredible. Considering the fact that they were shot in the dark on Potato cellphones Troy: Gabriella Fast-forward one week and now we’re at East High School home of the Wildcats and also home of a bunch of cliques Like the theater kids the jocks and the Nerds and These groups shall never mix It’s here that we’re introduced to the rest of the movies main cast You’ve got the basketball boys who are apparently waiting for their leader Troy to arrive. It’s very cute They’re led by Chad who is comically a jock. He keeps the boys warmed up when Troy isn’t around Chad: In two weeks we’re going to the championships With you leading us to infinity and beyond. What’s that? The basketball championships in two weeks? Sounds like foreshadowing to me Then we meet Ryan and Sharpay the rich kid entitled twins of the school Who were also theater partners? We’ve apparently starred in 17 school theater productions seemingly as romantic interests They’re the Jamie and Cersei Lannister of East High And they are not popular with the basketball boys Chad: You know what she’ll probably spend the holidays like she always does shopping for meters Nice one Chad And then there’s Taylor head of the judgmental science geeks Taylor: They hold the zoo animals heralding the new year How tribal Have I mentioned how much these Kooks hate each other and what’s this? Gabriella: Mom. My stomach! Mom: -Is always nervous on the first day in a new school Gabriella- Troy’s Karaoke partner from the ski resort has been conveniently transferred to East High and she’s a little nervous about the new school Gabriella: I don’t want to be this freaky genius girl again! Gabriella is too smart /and/ too beautiful It’s a real struggle for her character. Then we’re taken to homeroom where the class is abuzz with some filler dialogue That was probably not meant to be audible where Troy ludes to blacking out They breeze right past this Because Troy sees Gabriella! This is their homeroom slash drama slash English class It’s really not clear And it’s led by Mrs. Darbus which is a name that’s kind of close to my name and that really messed me up as a kid Chad: Mrs. Darbus (x3) She speaks in what can only be described as a cartoon theater accent? Mrs. Darbus: Check the sign-up sheets in the lobby for new activities /Mr. Bolton/ And her other character traits include that she hates cellphones Mrs. Darbus: Sharpay and Ryan cell phones And I will see you in detention! Can’t tell any sports apart. Mrs. D: Mr. Danforth! This is a place of learning. Not a hockey arena! and she pronounces musical weird Mrs. D (singsong): Mus – uh – kal! Anyway, Troy gets excited and Texts Gabriella in front of their teacher Who famously hates cellphones And gets them both detention Mrs. D: Cell phone! And welcome to East High Miss Montez We’ll talk about that later Because after class Troy and Gabriella talk for the first time since the young adult party Troy: Hey! And discover their drift compatible by completing each other’s sentences Gabriella: I don’t- Troy: Believe it! So these two lovebirds are soaring and flying down the hallway And we discover that Troy wants to keep his singing chops on the low Gabriella: Why are you whispering? Because the support of the basketball boys is very conditional They stop by the winter musical sign-up sheets Where they’re ambushed by Sharpay Who was apparently just hiding behind a wall this whole time in case it isn’t obvious? She has the hots for Troy And she wants to show that she’s a big dog on campus That’s a dog pun because of her name So she does what any dog would do she lifts up her leg and marks her territory by signing her big ass signature on the signup sheet Leaving no room for anyone else because she’s apparently gotten this far in theater not by being good but by eliminating the competition before they can try out Sharpay: Oh! Were you going to sign up too? She literally just signs her own name on the pair’s auditions Leaving no room for her brother Ryan Then Troy goes to “basketball practice” Which is generous Considering no one seems to be doing anything That’s actually illegal in a game of basketball He confides in Chad that he’s interested in auditioning for the school musical, But unfortunately for Troy Chad has an unexplained hatred of show tunes Chad: Costumes and makeup-? (shuddering) It’s frightening Then Troy’s internal conflict of singing vs basketball manifests itself into the physical world with a song Get your head in the game The first line of which is coach said to fake right and break left Which I’m pretty sure is the only move We see Troy practice in this whole movie In fact the song reveals that the basketball boys have a very loose grasp on the game But let’s be honest It’s worth it for the basketball choreography Cut to chemistry slash calculus class Where Sharpay is being territorial with Troy And Gabriella is busy correcting the teacher for bein’ so dumb Gabriella: Shouldn’t the second equation read 16 over pi? Teacher: That’s quite impossible. I- Stand corrected What a dummy! And she calls herself a teacher? Sharpay is feeling threatened by Gabriella Because I mean did you see the 16 thing? So she launches an investigation into Gabriella’s past? Sharpay: Where did she say she’s from? Using the Internet’s premier search engine searchtheinternet.com There she discovers the freaky genius origins of Gabriella In a faraway land known as San Diego Ryan (gayly): Wow! An Einstein-ette? And this prompts her to concoct The perfect plan to get Gabriella out of her hair The plan which is the first of three Incredible plans in High School Musical Is to sign Gabriella up for an extracurricular activity So she doesn’t have time for the school musical. Sharpay: There is no harm in making certain that Gabrielle as welcome to school activities that are (chuckles) well Appropriate for her. So she just signed her up for the Scholastic Decathlon. You heard that correctly Sharpay’s evil plot to stop Gabriella is to sign her up for a club Sharpay: After all She loves pie Couldn’t she politely decline? Hey Gabriella I heard you’re interested in joining the Scholastic Decathlon. Oh um. No? I’m good Oh. Okay. Um But you signed up. Oh, that is me- weird. Sorry not interested. This is all leading to the first audition Uh- but before we get to that there’s a couple little morsels I want to touch on first Like- Detention happens Which in Darbus’ world just Means building set pieces for the big show Because her entire world revolves around musicals Mrs. Darbus: Gold! More gold! It’s here that Troy and Gabriella engage in What uh I can only assume as a g-rated sex scene Where they’re just gyrating and making eye contact This is the most intimate thing I’ve ever seen I feel like I’m invading their privacy! Troy’s Dad: West High Knights have knocked us out of the playoffs three years running Yeah uh it’s probably because you don’t know how to play basketball Also the team chant for the Wildcats Is just a mantra for the basketball boys to say whenever they inadvertently Forget what team they’re playing for in the middle of a game. Chad: Hey, what team? All together: Wildcats! Chad: What team?
All: Wildcats
(x3) Chad: Wildcats!
All together: Get your head in the game! (blows whistle) Taylor is trying to convince Gabriella to join the smart kids club and she lets slip That they’ve never made it past the first round of the Scholastic decathlon Taylor: We’ve never made it past the first round of the Scholastic decathlon. Why are you so judgmental then? Taylor: Oh my gosh! Troy Bolton just the hottie super buff (All squeal and giggle) Like come on This is messed up. Troy’s at home practicing yet Another fake right and break left with basketball dad because That’s their entire relationship And he attempts to open up to basketball dad about his big struggle. Troy: Hey dad… Did you ever think about trying something new But we’re afraid of what your friends might think But like I said before His dad is a human basketball You mean like going left? You were fine come on I swear to god Troy’s dad could be getting a divorce And he would still put it in terms of basketball Jack? That’s your first name, by the way, it’s never said in the movie. Sup babe? Look I can’t keep pretending I-I need a divorce. All you care about is basketball. Wait all this time You’ve been faking right? (voice breaking) And now you wanna break left? Troy’s dad is actually the cause of the core conflict in this movie because Troy wouldn’t have to choose between theater and basketball If it wasn’t for his dad’s weird beef with Darbus Troy’s Dad: What the heck are those two doing in a tree? But alas now it’s the day of auditions And Troy blows off Chad who is wearing a shirt that says I come with my own background music What does that even mean? This whole movie chad is wearing shirts with weird Snarky sayings on them that you would assume they only sold in toddler sizes Anyway Troy sneaks his way to the audition through the secret East High auto shop and makes it to the auditorium having stolen a janitor supplies and everyone at the audition is T o t a l G a r b a g e (Loud crashing) Except Ryan and Sharpay, but they’re busy being divas. Sharpay: Are we clear?
Kelsi: Yes, ma’am! Meanwhile Darbus is doing her best Ariana Grande impression Thank you Next! And subtly reveals that she probably became a high school theater teacher because Her friends convinced her not to follow her dreams Better to hear it from me now than from your friends later So that’s sad Gabriella finally shows up But they’re late and Darbus doesn’t want to let them audition which makes sense Because there was already so much depth at the auditions already But they convinced her and with the help of composer Kelsi They’re once again able to sing perfect harmonies for a song they have never seen How you might ask Do they know how to read sheet music Easy. They don’t! They just glanced it at once and spend the rest of the time looking directly into the camera and wouldn’t you guess? They get a callback and everyone loses their sh*t Sharpay flips out the basketball boys are not having it and the geeks are quite upset This leads us in to Stick to the Status Quo a Stereotype song about how Zeke the best basketball boy wants to be a baker And nobody wants that at all So naturally they all break into song and dance Which is ironically not something that any of these kids are known for and And everyone has a shitty looking lunch This scene ends with Gabriella equipped with a lunch of milk an orange and chili cheese fries 360 no-scopeing Sharpay with the cheese fries Leaving the orange and milk unharmed A victory for Gabriella and a crushing loss for the laws of physics Meanwhile, Chad is trying to convince Troy not to do musical theater While showing off an expansive knowledge of the genre Chad (gayly): Have you ever seen Michael Crawford on a cereal box? Troy: Who’s Michael Crawford? Chad: He was the Phantom of the Opera on Broadway It’s pretty clear by this point. The Chad is a giant hypocrite Something funny I just noticed Is that Chad’s lips say Wheaties box But then they dubbed over it to say cereal box Cuz I guess they couldn’t get the rights Have you ever seen Michael Crawford on a cereal box? Not wanting to lose their MVPs I guess Chad and Taylor joined forces to separate Troy and Gabriella for the second plan of this movie Which is f*cking bananas Chad: My watch is 7:45 Mountain Standard time, Saint we synced. You live in Albuquerque, New Mexico! What other time zone could Taylor possibly be on? So my watch is 7:45 Mountain Standard time. We synced? Oh good catch! I’m on military time In Japan. The basketball boys are giving Troy a stern talking-to About getting his head in the game Basketball Boys: Get your head in the game! All while invoking old Wildcat lore That they somehow know of basketball legends past Chad: Spider Bill Netrine! Like Spider Bill Netrine Or Basketball Dad Who both had their life’s biggest accomplishments in high school! Troy: Class of 72! Class of ’72? This is absurd My theory is that Troy is the only person on the team who knows the rules of basketball And that’s why they rely on him so much So then they goad Troy into saying that Gabriella is “just a girl” And they whip out a giant 2006 web cam to capture the event that is then streamed to Gabriella By the Geek Squad in perfect high-definition Because the strongest force that he’s tied isn’t the Wildcats. It’s the Wi-Fi So Troy and Gabriella break up and everyone is sad Including their “friends” who didn’t see this coming at all Regretting their awful plan- they completely 180 On their support for their friends’ additional hobbies Zeke: Yeah. If singing is something you want to do We should be boosting you up not tearing you down Chad (softly): Yeah! Where was Zeke yesterday? Zeke: Maybe um you could watch me play ball sometime or something? Jarvis: Right he was spitting game as Sharpay Sharpay: Evaporate tall person! Troy who feels like his words were taken out of context because they were Runs two Gabriella’s house at night Where he sneaks into her backyard and appears on her balcony like a serial killer Troy (on the phone): I brought you something What do you mean? Troy: Turn around Jarvis (in a high-pitched voice): It’s me Troy and Gabriella make up Because it’s the third act and they’ve got to finish the movie And now it’s time for the Final Plan It’s at this point that I have to mention something very important about High School Musical. It’s a movie with three ridiculous plans and Zero high school musicals There are no musicals in high school musical Remember those set pieces they were building in detention? For a musical no one will ever see The climax of High School Musical is a callback for an audition And we’ll get to that but first Cersei and Jaime have political control of darbus and they change the time of the callback to get flick to the championship and the Scholastic Decathlon holdbacks the same time as the game Oh! and by the way Both of these things are at East High The basketball championship between East High and West High I couldn’t find a neutral third location So the big day arrives And operation there’s no way they could pull this off is underway The championship game kicks off but Taylor and Gabriela hack into the mainframe and Somehow turn off the scoreboard because East High’s power grid is apparently on Wi-Fi and need. I remind you it’s 2006 So Troy having not broken a single sweat gets out of there and heads to the auditorium Gabriela who’s taking a quick break from computer hacking Produces some sort of stink gas that should evacuate the whole school but instead pauses just the Scholastic decathlon Callbacks are also happening in the auditorium And Ryan and Sharpay are singing Bop to the top An Absolute Banger, but on a 2019 viewing it is a bit culturally insensitive Ryan (gayly and whitely): ♪ Ariba! ♪ They also have full costumes and props Which I do not think is normal for an audition callback? ♪ Shake some booty and turn around ♪ They keep cutting back to the performance of this 3-minute song While the rest of the plan takes place Uh over what I can only assume is like half an hour at least So I just like to think that this is a Grueling 45 minute audition Jarvis( dueting with himself): ♪ Yeah trapped in ♪ ♪ eternity ♪ ♪ Someone please save meee ♪ Troy and Gabriella arrived at the auditorium a moment too late But just as Darbus is about to give them the finger Everyone from the sabotaged competitions Evacuates into the auditorium Because they love a good movie climax Darbus says a complete non sequitur Darbus: Now that’s showbiz! And the show is back on! Oh and by show I mean callback Because this is a callback to an audition for a musical That we never learned about. Gabriella is suddenly nervous to perform. So she just goes to the sunken place But luckily Troy looks at her Troy (whispering gently): Hey hey. Look at me. Look at me And she snaps out of it and with a single performance Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron with Drew Seeley’s voice ♪ Soarin’ ♪ Bring down the house And they win Everything They win the championship They win the scholastic decathlon And they win the lead roles in a musical that happens off screen And then despite the fact that there are several unresolved conflicts Like the fact that Sharpay has just lost the lead role for the first time ever She’s totally chill about it And they dance to “We’re All in This Together” And that’s the whole movie! Oh! And there’s a post-credits scene where Sharpay thanks Zeke For some cookies that he gave her earlier These cookies are genius And they totally boned I assume Does it not sound like I love High School Musical Cuz I do Of course the movie is bad if you judge it Like an art film It’s a Disney Channel original movie. What did you expect? I love it because it’s dumb It’s campy and-and self-aware and It’s something that’s stuck with me all-all these years Didn’t you see on Twitter when I was doing the f*cking dance? You should follow me on Twitter and Instagram By the way
(Subtle Jarvis) If you want to watch my descent into madness in real time Last night while I was editing this I started f*cking crying While I was watching the end of the movie. ♪ We’re all in this together ♪
(laughs) I’ve watched this movie four times this week For this video. Why did I start breaking down on the fourth watch? I think it’s cuz it finally clicked with me. What the movie represents to me specifically And in a lot of ways it was my childhood You know- As a person who at 14 was like learning to sing and dance and Exploring my creativity This movie kind of represents that journey to me It like kind of put it put it all together ♪ Everybody say it loud ♪ (Sniff, sniff) It’s just like making fun of this movie doesn’t mean that I hate it It’s the opposite Actually That’s the end of my ramble. Let me cut to the conclusion that I actually wrote Honestly this was one of the best teen crazes to be a part of So I’m glad I got to share its Absurdity with you today. I want to shout out 24 frames of Nick Who uh will make amazing High School Musical content From time to time. You should check him out Let me know if you want to see more videos like this I know it’s a little bit different But I’ve never had so much fun Writing a script. Speaking of scripts – mine is telling me that today’s video Is sponsored by Skillshare Are you a freaky genius girl who wants to explore your creative side? Or are you a theater geek? Who wants to learn business? Maybe you’re a famous high school basketball legend Looking to pick up some new skills. I know I am Well, you’re in luck because SkillShare is an online learning community. That’s… Kind of like a basketball team With thousands of classes covering tons of creative and entrepreneurial skills Pretty much everything I learned to make these videos from How my camera works to how to edit and write a script I learned online And SkillShare has courses for all this stuff And a lot more taught by experts in their field Which you can get access to with their premium membership Which is quite affordable! An annual subscription is less than ten dollars a month And since SkillShare is sponsoring this video The first 500 people to sign up with the link in the description will get A 2 month free trial I’m personally gonna check out this class On creating authentic fiction with believable characters That way I can finally start the high school musical fanfic. I was born to write Thanks to Karolina boop-de-frutas-root-chu Normally it’s a joke But I truly have no idea if I’m saying that right If you want me to butcher your name Follow me on Instagram and Twitter And then DM me to let me know that you did that