FULL SONG: The Perfect PokéRap | Unraveled BONUS

September 12, 2019 0 By Stanley Isaacs


So Terry… This one’s for you. I want to be the best (best, best, best). Be the best (best, best) Bulbasaur, Charmander, Squirtle. Caterpie, Butterfree, Wurmple. Scorbunny, Sobble, and Grookey. Lickitung and Lickilicky. Haxorus, Cofagrigus. Poliwrath, Mismagius. Fraxure, Crabrawler, Dewpider. Shellder, Cloyster, Haunter, Grimer. Golurk, Luxio. Swampert, Lilligant, Tynamo. Seismitoad, Politoed, Palipitoad, Seel. Parasect, Trevenant, Toxapex, Spheal. Mandibuzz, Scatterbug, Graveler, Pelipper. Elgyem, Pikipek, Clawitzer, Conkeldurr. Probopass, Scolipede, Delibird, Ursaring. Blaziken, Fennekin, Quilladin, Nidoking. SKRELP. Alakazam, Patrat. Woobat, Swoobat, Crobat. Golbat, Zubat. Poochyena, Carracosta. Teddiursa, Umbreon. Alomomola, Chikorita. Gothorita, Drudigon. Snorunt, Tyrunt, Charjabug. Ninjask, Yamask, Avalugg. Finneon, Drapion, Jolteon, Sylveon. Glaceon, Espeon, Jigglypuff. Igglybuff, Wigglytuff. Dhelmise, Servine, Rockruff. Porygon, Porygon Z.
Porygon2, Rimbombee. Skuntank, Klang, Klinklang. Miltank and Metang. Luxray. Pidgey, Hitmonlee. Skitty, Happiny. Mudbray. Lotad, Durant, Serperior. Gourgeist, Stoutland, Exeggutor. Abra, Seadra, Nidorina. Dewott, Chesnaught, Primarina. Omanyte, Dragonite, Charizard. Magnemite, Meditite, Dusknoir. Ivysaur, Venusaur, Minior, Garbodor. Ariados, Tyranitar. Glameow, Meowth, Exploud. Wobbuffet, Furret, Bellsprout. Starmie, Starly, Frogadier. Delcatty, Escavalier. Venonat, Poliwag, Hippopotas. Spinarak, Marowak, Jumpluff, Feebas. Foongus, Amoongus, and Pidgeotto. Weepinbell, Victreebel, Hakamo-o. Aurorus, Aromatisse, Medicham. Mamoswine, Slurpuff, Flabebe. Feraligatr, Eevee Sigilyph. Elekid, Anorith, Inkay. (Gotta catch ‘em all) Rowlet, Golett, Honedge,
Archen, Croconaw. (Gotta catch ‘em all) Sentret, Pignite,
Bergmite, Mantyke, Kakuna. Sudowoodo, Wishiwashi. Popplio, Abomasnow. Charmeleon, Darumaka. Hariyama, Sharpedo. Whiscash, Raticate, Sableye. Sandslash, Kricketune, Cutiefly. Beautifly, Togepi, Volcarona. Magnezone, Lunatone, Roggenrola. Samurott, Oshawott, Whimsicott, Kangaskhan. Larvitar, Pupitar, Omastar, Kecleon. Togekiss, Simisage, Nidoqueen, Cottonee. Forretress, Salamence, Jellicent, Bunnelby. Piloswine, Carnivine. Illumise and Remoraid. I think we are done with the triplet rap. So now let’s rap to educate. Alright. Here we go! Are ya ready friends, hey come on! Let’s learn a little something from the
Pokémon! There’s Persian and Mudsdale, Donphan and
Huntail. Sandygast, Nosepass, Frosslass, Lapras! I love to say the Pokémon, but here’s the
catch. Saying them all kinda seems Farfetch’d! Let me Axew a question? Want to help me out? It’s time to Throh in more names! Come on give me a shout! *perfect yell of 200 Pokémon.* Those Pokémon are Tentacool! *another perfect yell of 200 Pokémon.* And those Pokémon are trash! Combee my friend, I’ve got more to say. And if we Diglett-le deeper, we can learn
today! So why not get Comfey, Don’t be Krabby or
blue! Here are some lessons, and I Rotom for you. If you Muk around in class, you’ll be distraught! Don’t Bidoof-us, just study a lot! If you’re Slaking in school, you’ll drop
out sooner! And abstinence is key, or you’ll get a Mime
Jr. Swanna grab some candy for a sweet treat? Amaura-mazing snack is Pichu can eat! Bewear of Shiftry strangers who offer you
hugs. Don’t stick forks into Eelectrik plugs. Wear a Shelmet when you Rhydon bikes. Keep a well-stocked Bagon extra long hikes! Make sure to stay away from that Ferroseed. And that’s just one name people have for
weed! There’s Pansage, and Slowbro, Oddish, and
Bonsly. Tropius, Seedot, Nuzleaf, and Stunky! And Blissey, Loudred, Dewgong and Goodra. Bounsweet, Bayleef, Hypno, and Munna! You’ll be Drowzee if you Swellow that Tangrowth
smoke. Also Koffing and Weezing, hey, you might Machoke! So if someone says, “Hey, want some dank
Lombre?” Look ‘em Dedenne the eye, and say NO WAY! I tell you Natu do drugs, but if someone’s
smoking Treecko, does that make them a bad person? Definitely no! Don’t mean to carr-Yanma point in this verse
is that alienating drug users makes things worse! Don’t lock someone up if they take a Hitmonchan. And criminalizing addicts is a really bad
plan. Big pharma is the root of our country’s
problem with opiate addiction. Golem. Gastly, Horsea, Chansey, Burmy. Clefairy, Mankey, Klefki, Goomy. Hoo! Rapping’s hard, let me catch my breath. Might as well check how many we’ve got left! There’s less than 150 left. Can I really do this? I used to have this dream. Back when I was a child. I’d make the PokéRap listenable. And everybody called me reckless and wild. But I never gave up. I kept at it everyday. And with Pikachu beside me and my ‘dex to
guide me, I knew that there’d be a way. To ignore all of the naysayers. I’d need a thicker skin than Metapod. Wynaut leave my comfort zone, jump in
the Unown. Maybe someday everyone will applaud. It’s Absol-utely worth taking a risk. Plusle make a few friends as I try. Seaking how to be strong as I Raichu a song. Though I still don’t know where to put Mr.
Mime. But who cares if I couldn’t find a good
place to put Togedemaru, Pyukumuku, Mawile, Sceptile, Weavile, Sandile, Helioptile, Leafeon,
Gengar, Malamar, Marshtomp, Chatot, Simipour, Ferrothorn, Toxicroak, Minccino, Cinccino,
Azumarill, Tranquill, Excadrill, Marill, Beedrill. And Togetic, Basculin, Gigalith, Crabominable,
Kingdra, Ambipom, Gastrodon, Bastiodon, Hippowdon, Vivillon, Bisharp, Liepard, Dunsparce, Aipom,
Slakoth, Ralts, Dustox. I still found a way to put ‘em in there! No matter the Scizor the scope of the task. I don’t need a Magikarp-et ride. I’Machamp-ion, hero, there’s nothing to
Fearow. My true power comes from inside. And that brings us all of the way to the top. I’ve said every name I can say. I’ll let my body confess the names that
I can’t express. Yes it’s time for the DREAM BALLET! COME ON! But there’s one Pokemon, my own holy grail. That I gave Kevin Punt, I hope that bastard’s
in jail. ‘Cause of all Tangelas, Terry is the apex. And I gave him up for my ‘dex. When you love Terry terribly, and then Terry
is gone. What’s the point of having every other Pokemon? There’s a wound in my heart that I can’t
get rid of. How can I find joy without my tangly boy? Why catch them all if you can’t keep the
ones that you love? Terry! Oh Terry…