First Day of College | Lele Pons

First Day of College | Lele Pons

October 15, 2019 100 By Stanley Isaacs


I know it’s my first day of college. Okay, I’ll call you back. Im shit Oh my god… What..? Hello! Oh, freshman Are you Latina? Oh, I know. Sorry! Sorry! Jeeesus! You know what? I don’t have a boyfriend, shut up! *TRIES TO SAVE THE CRINGEY MOMENT BY ACTING DORKY FOR SOME LAUGHS BUT JUST MAKES IT CRINGIER* Hey Jane! Save the corn Save the corn? Oh, ok, ok, I’ll save the corn… Hey, whassup Hey, would you like doing a party tonight? A party tonight? On a school night? No, I, I don’t go to parties You don’t go to parties? This is college! Yo, that girl is wack! Get outta here! Hey! Where’s class? (you know like what one class..?) I don’t know, I’m skipping it I’m gonna be late… Sorry, I’m late! Where’s everybody else? Excuse me Oh sorry *Talking indistinctly* I totally missed homework!(mmm..okay..) *mumbling* *mumbling* Excuse me (Damn would you look at ’em coffee(I LIKE TEA….)) Where’s the teacher? Good afternoon, class! Sorry for… the delay… Sorry for… the delay… His shirt is off! fuck Welcome to English 101 So lets start with a role call shall we… Is that Bella Hadid? No Bella Hadidi? Present Alright guys this semester we’ll be covering 6 books Wait! 6 books? That’s like 30 pages a night! (laughter) Haven’t you heard about plagiarism? Who reads? *Call Bob 555-625-0079* That guy does my essays… Oh my god you’re so cute I’m sorry, when is prom? (laughter) She said “prom” Can I go to my lockers? She said “lockers” (More Laughter) I’m guessing you don’t have P.E. PE!? (laughter) She said “P.E” Oh my god Alright guys sorry I got a text… I gotta go Oh well, guess class is done, party at my house He didn’t say “Class dismissed” I’m not gonna leave until he says “class dismissed”! Can this day get any worse? Same Oh ma god, I’m sorry, who are you? I’m your roomate, this is our dorm NOT YOU!! What is that supposed to mean? Uh, you were hooking up with like everybody? (this is… not… how…) – I don’t know you have like 20 boyfriends. All I’ve seen you do is kiss. – Oh, no. No, I would never bring that here – Okay. Plus what happens in the hallways stays in the hallways? Plus, what happens in the hallway, stays in the hallway. Okay Katherine, what the hell? Were you’re making out with Daquan in the hallway? Why are you coming up in here, disrespecting me and my dormmate? Are you kidding me? What are you clapping for? You know that I hate when you do this. Because I-like-it! – What is that doing anytting? – Because we talk like this. – What are you doing here? – Why are you still here? – Why are you still here? – You’re stupid! – No, you’re stupid! – Don’t call me stupid! Hello, mama. Yeah, I’m gonna go home. I just can’t I can’t do college. I’m just gonna go home and Study in the house- Did you drop this? Yeah… Thank you! No problem! I should probably get back to my room. Nevermind. Okay? Bye. Umm…. I’m pretty sure those are the stairs. Oh, you don’t need to worry ’bout that. But… I was gonna ask you… – Yes? – I was wondering if… – Yes? – You could tell my girlfriend Katherine that I’ll be back later. – You know what? Go F….!!!! Lele Pons – Celoso *playing* ♪ …Celoso si me ve’ con otro
Hago lo que quiero, yo sólo me la gozo. ♪ ♪ Le hago rom-pom-pom, pom-pom-pom-pom (yo le hago) ♪ ♪ Tú quie- ♪