Ellen Meets the ‘Apparently’ Kid, Part 2

October 18, 2019 0 By Stanley Isaacs


– GUESS WHAT.
– WHAT? – YOU KNOW WHAT I DID
IN MY HOTEL ROOM? – TELL ME.
– I JUMPED BED TO BED. THERE WAS, LIKE, THIS ONE GUY
WHO FILMED ME… – YEAH? – IN SLOW-MOTION
JUMPING ONTO THE OTHER BED, DOING A BARREL ROLL. – YEAH.
– BARREL ROLL! – YEAH. – AND THEY FILMED ME
JUMPING ON THE BED, JUST SLAMMING DOWN
ON THE BED. – WOW.
YOU JUST REALLY LOVE– YOU JUST LOVE LIFE,
DON’T YOU? – YEAH, AND BY THE WAY,
I LOVE HOW YOU GET TO JUMP ONTO BEDS. – YEAH. WELL, THAT’S WHAT YOU DO
IN HOTEL ROOMS. I THINK EVERYBODY HERE
GETS IN A HOTEL ROOM, AND YOU JUMP ON BEDS,
DON’T YOU? [cheers and applause] EVERYBODY DOES. – YEAH, BUT MY GRANDPA,
HE DOESN’T LIKE ME JUMPING FROM BED TO BED. THIS IS WHY I WOULD JUMP
FROM THIS BED TO THE OTHER BED. – THAT’S PRETTY FAR.
– YEAH, BUT I MADE IT. I CAN MAKE IT.
I FALL. – WOW.
– I GO LIKE… [shouting] – WOW. – AND THEN I FALL, LIKE–
– YEAH. SO WHEN YOU’RE DOING THIS, IS YOUR GRANDPA
OPENING THE MINI BAR, OR WHAT’S HAPPENING? – IT’S MY MOM’S BOYFRIEND.
HE OPENED– [laughter and applause] THIS GUY, GRANDPA,
RIGHT HERE… [speaking indistinctly] – YEAH. NOW WE’RE GETTING
TO THE GOOD STUFF. – I DON’T KNOW
IF YOU HAVE TO PAY. I DON’T KNOW YOU HAVE TO PAY
TO GET INTO THE BAR, BUT IT’S KIND OF A BAR. SO YOU HAVE TO PAY
FOR A DRINK. – YUP.
– I MEAN– I MEAN, THERE’S SO MANY–
I HAVE–HE HAS SO MANY. – YEAH, HEY, I HAVE A QUESTION
ABOUT DINOSAURS. I HEARD YOU LIKE DINOSAURS
A LOT, RIGHT? – YEAH, I DO.
– OKAY. WHAT KIND OF DINOSAURS
DO YOU LIKE? – CROCODON.
– I NEVER HEARD OF THAT ONE. – WELL, HE–
HE WASN’T ACTUALLY JUST THIS NORMAL
MEAT-EATING DINOSAUR. – NOW, THAT’S YOU. – NO, I’M NOT
THE CROCODON. – NO?
– CROCODON IS RED. HE HAS GREEN EYES, AND HE CAMOUFLAGED THEM
TO THE SIGHT OF BLOOD EYES. – OH, OH. WHAT IF I TOLD YOU
WE HAD A DINOSAUR HERE TODAY? – THAT’S ME. – NO.
NO, IT’S NOT YOU. IT’S A DINOSAUR
THAT CAME TO SAY HELLO TO YOU. DO YOU WANT TO MEET IT?
– YUP. – ALL RIGHT, LET’S–
IS THE DINOSAUR HERE? IT’S A FRIENDLY DINOSAUR TOO.
I THINK YOU’RE GONNA LIKE IT. LOOK. – WHOA! WHOA! [cheers and applause] WHOA! [dinosaur squeaking] [howls] [chitters] – OKAY. – I’M PRETTY SURE
THAT’S A GUY IN A COSTUME. [laughter and applause] [dinosaur howls] – OH, IS THAT A FURRY T REX? YOU KNOW,
WITH THE TWO CLAWS. – RIGHT.
– AND THE SHORT ARMS. – RIGHT, YEAH. HE’S ANGRY.
NOW YOU’VE MADE HIM MAD. LISTEN, GUESS WHAT
YOU’RE GONNA DO. YOU’RE GONNA GET TO GO SEE
“WALKING WITH DINOSAURS, THE ARENA SPECTACULAR.” YOU’RE GONNA GET
VIP TICKETS AND GO SEE
ALL THE DINOSAURS. – OH, YEAH! [cheers and applause] – AND BECAUSE YOUR GRANDPA
LIKES TO WATCH THE NEWS FOR THE POWERBALL, EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE
AND YOUR GRANDPA IS GOING HOME
WITH POWERBALL TICKETS. [cheers and applause] – [speaking indistinctly] – NO, IT’S A REAL DINOSAUR. WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK–
– I CAN SEE HIM! I CAN SEE– [cheers and applause]