Amazing Motivational Lessons for Students By Gaur Gopal Das | ChetChat

Amazing Motivational Lessons for Students By Gaur Gopal Das | ChetChat

August 29, 2019 100 By Stanley Isaacs


hey everyone and welcome to ChetChat
I’m your host Chetna and this episode is special because the guest on our show
today is world-renowned monk and lifestyle coach shri Gaur gopaldas I know
you’ve watched his videos and got influenced by his teachings and I know
he’s impacted millions of lives in a positive way I for one I’m a huge
follower and today we’re at the crossword book store for his book launch
called “Life’s amazing secrets’ and we’re gonna request him to talk to you about some
amazing motivational secrets for you and for your life but before that quickly
press that subscribe button and the bell icon right next to it to get your
notifications every time we put up a video and without much further ado let
me request Shri Gaur gopaldas to join us on the show so Guruji welcome to ChetChat
thank you very much I am humbled you know this is like I’ve been watching
your videos I’ve been getting inspired it’s like surreal you know I’m just
grateful I’m just grateful to be with you for this chat thank you so much and
our students are tuning in from we’ve got students from 109 countries, oh wow my greetings to all of you from wherever you are in the world here the first
question I want to ask you is about unconventional careers you and I took
unconventional career choices but when students make these choices the parents
are coming from a position of fear correct the society is coming from a
position of judgment sure and so students lack self belief yeah and they
sort of don’t have that courage and motivation to go ahead with their
passions okay and they get confused correct so
how if you can guide them as to how can they actually go right ahead with their
dreams and even to know before that is this the right path for me yeah yeah so
any of your guidance would be so valuable you know when I I was studying in school and then wanted to see what I’m going to do for the future we are we had three
options engineering medicine and maybe chartered accountancy no engineering
medicine failure. so either you’re an engineer, or a doctor or a failure so coming from a society where this was
the mindset and if this is what is ingrained in the system I do not think a
massive change can come about simply by our youngsters taking up to the passions
that they truly feel is meant for them right there has to be a systemal
change as well. Unless there is a systemal change it’s like fitting a round
peg in a square hole like you were a round peg you want to do it but then
the square hole which is the society and the social standards don’t accept that so I
think when we are talking about a change a change must come on all fronts
like if you do a career in scuba diving most parents are going to say what’s
what’s the future for you you you learn fine arts what’s the future for you, you know so how do students deal with this pressure how did do they deal with this kind of insecurity that they are made to feel not necessarily they feel it, but they’re
made to fail by the society by parents by everybody around I feel there should
be a win-win a balance like you don’t be a complete conformist nor should you be
a nonconformist straight away okay okay so the balanced approach, that’s extremism. I’ll tell you what to go by the parents ways and extremist stance
because then they can’t follow their passion right but to go by what they
feel could be an extremist stance as well because what they feel is their
passion may not necessarily be their passion so I feel it’s good
that they take up something mainstream to begin with okay which is like a like
you say ok say I’m doing what you want there’s a fall back option for me
whilst I’m pursuing this I start pursuing this as well and then
show parents, show the society that I can do it now if you’re not being able
to show why would you know yeah and why would anybody accept it so I I feel that
if there is a good balance I don’t know how but if there be a good balance so
which basically means if they want to pursue something like this they may not
take courses like engineering which is the fallback for them because courses
like this professional courses will not allow them the bandwidth and the time to
pursue the other things that they feel is their passion but a good decent
fallback option and then side-by-side they also pursue this initially just as
the hobby as a calling yeah I think it’s a calculated risk yes you taking a risk
still but it’s a calculated risk most youngsters in their zeal in their
enthusiasm and their passion to do something don’t realize that there are
practicalities in the real world as well and they live there, yeah so they must
take risks I mean I do feel it should be a little calculated, am I making sense? Absolutely, that was brilliant because
honestly I was expecting you to go you know either one way or the other like
this, but that is not how life is. this is a beautifully balanced approach and who knows tomorrow you may be able to marry the too you never know where that could open up a whole new world for you, exactly you know this one gentleman whom I know
wants to be a filmmaker wants to go to Canada study filmmaking in Canada, the most premier Institute is in Canada but then parents are a middle-class family the
yearly tuition fee is about 25 lakh rupees so four year course one crore of
rupees that’s not even their entire life
savings, right now I told him as much as your passion is to do it I don’t think
reality does allow you at this point of time. I said that I can try to pitch you for
that can try somebody to sponsor you but a crore of rupees who’s gonna sponsor
you know plus once you finish it the cutthroat competition out there just to
be able to recover all the money you spend it’s a lot, so I told them why don’t you follow something mainstream today there’s a
fallback option but you can get a job later if this doesn’t work and start
taking professional courses here which are within your capacity and what you can
afford one day probably you might be able to go there and then marry the two
what you have to do and what you love to do are the same fantastic that was
absolutely wonderful and motivating thank you
and the next thought in my mind is you know competitive exams in India, can
sort of take the life out of you sure and sometimes it’s just like one hour or
two hours sitting in that examination hall yes and it’s almost like that is
the moment that decides whether I’m a failure or a success, and there’s so much
stress I remember I got like 102 fever before my CAT entrance exam and I came out of the hall and I was fine yeah so I can understand that so what can you
say it to them that they can overcome all of this and take it positively yeah
my understanding is this if you’re writing a competitive exam you’ve
already written many exams before yes and you have a very clear idea of your
capacity alright we have to be very honest and very very accepting of what
our capacity is okay now if you have x as your capacity you can dream to go
X to the power two if you do dream to do X to the power hundred you’re being
unrealistic so in that unrealistic pressure to go X to the power 100 you
don’t even perform X, what to speak of X to the power of two because the
pressure stops you from giving your best you know that’s the problem when you
have one yardstick to measure everybody not everybody is going to fit into that
you know not everybody’s gonna fit into that again a systemal change is
needed there it’s it’s about the system it’s not about them it’s not about it’s
not about what the parents are saying to them it’s about the entire the system what is accepted as normal is the the grades, is the marks, is the score is the performance.And your JEE score is considered as your individual capability as a person, it dictates you so I’m not saying you shouldn’t get it but if you
also know what you have you don’t know what you mean believe me which is
wasting our energy our money our time and after doing all of that we we end up
with low self-esteem lack of self-confidence after 10 attempts of
doing it and you realize you can’t you’ve wasted time money energy and
confidence you know rather it’s better to be honest and accepting of what our
capacity is and which is why what you asked early is very important that I do
feel, from the beginning they should be able to discover and find out what is it
in them that they can truly excel in and this book the life’s amazing secrets I
wrote one section is this the blueberry cheesecake in the very instance you did
happen to read a part of it. The blueberry cheesecake story that’s right and an entire section on ikigai and finding your calling and you’re given a worksheet at the end
an ikigai worksheet to really figure out what is it in you that you
can follow all right so I think that pressure of an academic score when you are were there that one one and a half two hours of you know sitting in the
examination hall it’s like the Virat Kohli Sachin Tendulkar playing against
West Indies you know you have to like perform and keep hitting sixes and fours
they’ve got so much practice and not just practice they also have the
capability right like there may be some others who are also practicing but you
also have to have it in you right to say that everybody can do everything and
by practice everybody can get there I’m not too sure because you have to have
the core element to be able to develop it so I do believe that is important and
this ikigai worksheet you talking about that could be of help to them. that could be a little help it’s not like a very elaborate thing but it’s a pointer towards you
know getting a little deeper than what we are and then possibly taking more
sessions with some experts to actually kind of fine-tune it
right and guru ji one last question is you know depression is very common
these days with students and we’re hearing of suicide when we’re hearing off you know
just children just not being able to function because they were paralyzed by
all that pressure the fear the uncertainty so how do we you know just
help them to cope with all of this true, depression suicides pressures one of the reasons for this also is that many of our youngsters have grown up not hearing
a no as an answer okay because they were children maybe a single child to parents have felt oh I did not get it when I was young I should give
everything to my kids so whatever they asked for they kept getting a yes yes yes
the yes the yes you can get a yes from your parents you don’t get yes from your
professors you don’t get a yes from Infosys from Apple from Microsoft from
E&Y KPMG Deloitte you don’t get a yes the way you wanted yes so you have been
brought up with with that training of okay everything there for you you don’t
have to worry you know so that sense of entitlement that I must get a yes all
the time it basically means they’re not used to a
no they’re not used to a failure they’re not used to a falling from what they
thought they could achieve in their life so when you’re not used to it and
suddenly something comes your capacity to handle it is very meager very very
meagre right so so it’s shocking when it comes and then it’s so absolutely
shocking you go to extremities, you go into chronic depression or you end up to the other extreme of suicides so then the question is how do we cope with this so
whatever the training has been or whatever has been now how do we deal
with it now which is why I do feel youngsters need life guidance and
life counselling more than academic performance they also need a lot of
guidance so they are fortitude the strength to handling these things
increase so you need any mentors and guides apart from their educational
teachers academic teachers and they need to feel that inspiration
motivation from those who they see as icons and role models so icons and role models shouldn’t just tell them the stories of everything good about them
they should come up and share their vulnerabilities that I went through this
look what I did I’m sure you can do it you have it in
you as well don’t worry you can handle it, you know so they need that mentorship the guidance from people whom they see
as wow these are the ones and then of course spirituality to whatever
degree it helps them cope up with this pressure, friendship and emotional
support from parents from friends from people who are close to them and it’s
okay it’s all like to fail yes it’s okay take it easy you know just one failure
is not the end of the line you know it’s just an event it is just an event it’s
not a journey don’t make an event of your life as your journey and you know you
can it’s okay to lose a battle you have to win the war and in the war you will
lose a few battles here and there everybody does so once they get into
that mindset then I think these extremities can be handled otherwise I feel
it’s just that thing you know that I can’t hear a no I’m never heard a no, and now suddenly you know like I can’t get a job here I didn’t get my
first grade I didn’t stand first in class I stood first every semester in my
engineering days I stood first in every semester last semester in second four
marks I lost my first grade and my gold medal in the University of Pune in the
whole of Maharashtra and I came home crying. I came home crying in front of my father he asked me what happened I just
slammed the marksheet on him not because I was angry but I was frustrated. I had been dreaming of that gold medal, I stood first all through how can I not come first and I remember my father’s who is no more, he said to me can I see your marks, he saw the marks like probably 87 percent but it was 1995 87 percent in my final year engineering he said so what’s the first guys that’s 87 point one or two
or whatever. He said, these are great grades you can get admission in a great college focus on your grades, the marks not on the position. It’s not first or second it’s okay and he said in
ten years from now who will anyways remember this fache first rank. I think when you have people like that support you to guide you comfort you, it’s possible. So that was so amazing, thank
you very much thank you so guru ji what you told us was so
inspiring so clear, thank you and I think you know think they get the direction
they get the motivation from you and I’m not going to hold you back I know
there’s a book launch waiting for you here’s the book that you must pick up and
this is the worksheet in this that is a talking about that help you make your
career choices and guruji I’m gonna have a personally signed copy from you… students across 109 yeah hundred and nine country. That’s incredible I know
I’m blessed it’s amazing you’re doing much better
than what you’ve done as a banker, absolutely I feel that every day and I would never have met you thank you and wish you all the best I do have all the success would be you inspire
millions and millions of more people All your good wishes and prayers yes thank you and thanks for watching right to the end I’m sure this episode was valuable to
you and I hope it’s changed your life too in a positive way if you have any
questions put them all down in the comment section under the video and
press that subscribe button don’t forget the bell icon right next to
it and happy watching