Adults Can’t Wear Crop Tops

August 27, 2019 0 By Stanley Isaacs


(electronic music) (neon buzzing) – What’s up? What’s good? How are you? What’s cookin’? How was your day? You know, mine was pretty good. Should we get appetizers for the table? – Are you gonna take your coat off? – Yes. Oh, you mean right now? – What else would I mean? (dramatic music) Oh. Is that new? – Okay, fine! Did I, an adult woman, see a picture of a sexy 19 year old in a crop top go out, buy one, so I could wear it to dinner tonight? Yes.
– Uh. – Then am I, an adult woman, now realizing that it’s kinda weird to dress like a sexy 19 year old when you’re going to a
family-style Italian restaurant? Also yes. – Are you tucking in your crop top? – This is a style. It’s a look. – Why would you wear a crop top though? (thudding) – What’s the alternative, Murph? There is a nice family
eating dinner over there and I’m practically belly dancing in their son’s pasta primavera! (whooshing) Ugh, I think he just made eyes at me. This is too weird. – This is arguably weirder. – No, no, no. Pretend we’re in Alaska. Shall we get some Polar
Bear blubber for the table? – They have regular appetizers in Alaska. You could just say do you want to get nachos
or mozzarella sticks. – I’m just role playing! – Then role play somebody
with a little swagger. Em, it’s not about your age. You need to own it. (soft dramatic music) – You’re right. I don’t need to be a sexy 19 year old. – Gotta stop referencing the sexy teens. (exhaling) – Excuse me, everyone look at me! I’m wearing a crop top! So deal with it! (exhaling) (soft dramatic music) (customers whispering) – Okay, everyone is staring. – Yeah, you stood up and
yelled everybody look at me. – No, I think it’s the crop top. – It was the yelling. – What about now? Are they looking? – Yes. – My coat is puffy, okay! So go ahead and deal with it! – You need to stop shouting! – The kid just made eyes at me again. (low thumping) Hey guys, thanks for watching. Tune in every week as
Hot Date gets hotter. (hip hop drum music) Nope, no, no, no, please
stop at the shirt. We stop at the shirt. Oh, okay.