30 university degrees described in 1 sentence

30 university degrees described in 1 sentence

October 9, 2019 100 By Stanley Isaacs


Welcome to 30 university degrees described in one sentence. Let’s get started! Half of the time is spent listening to the same person arguing with the lecturer. We learn how to create imaginary problems to convenient solutions. I don’t like spreadsheets, but I like money. In nine short years I might be doing the job I actually want. My time is occupied with helping friends with basic computer issues, before unsuccessfully influencing them that Linux is the superior operating system. I now understand why I’m attracted to my boyfriend. Welcome to a course that teaches common sense made more complicated with longer words. I’ll either find a job at the end of my degree or I’ll be the most highly trained criminal known to man. I justify my six-figure salary, by comprehending the English language slightly better than everyone else. I do twice the work and get half the pay of a doctor because I understand 10% less. I expected to swim with dolphins but I’m now managing a fish farm. I’ll complain about being broke forever without actually trying to change it. I tried doing electrical engineering, but it was too hard. I’m only studying this to become iron man. I’ll never get a job, but at least I know how to make my own. This was my third choice behind law and medicine that my Asian parents would accept. I love animals. I can’t wait to put them down all day. I’ve referenced the entire internet in the last four days. I now know how to fix all the world’s problems, but no one likes what I have to say. In only three years I’ll be able to get a minimum-wage job in a Western European country. I now be the most qualified person to cry at my computer for hours on end. I’m very boring at parties. I couldn’t get into medicine. I couldn’t get into medicine, but at least everyone in my classes is attractive. In this profession human beings are the hardest animal to deal with. The highlight of my career will be finding a 700 year old male. I’m now able to google problems better than anyone else. My friends refuse to call me a doctor. Everyone here is either Japanese or owns an extensive katana collection. I’m never getting a job.